Let my horsey go!

I still have quite a bit to write about, including my trip to Deadberg on Sunday, but first I'll write about yesterday.

Chris and I went to the airport yesterday, and obviously didn't make it to SanFrancisco, as I previously wrote about, but after THAT incident and exchanging vows (in this lovely location, pic below), we came back and changed and then went to the PUMA store for Chris. She got some very cool new blue "Puma Suede" shoes. I like them, they're hot looking, and on her even hotter. She wears her Puma's well, I can honestly say.


It's absolutely ridiculous just how packed Portland is now compared to when I lived here. Insane! But, in true Portland fashion, we saw some amusing sights, including this poor horse that was tethered to the sidewalk and wouldn't be released anytime soon! "Let my horsey go!" I found myself chanting in ridiculous internal anger at whomever left it here to sit in the sun (but I was still highly amused):


We went to Henry's Brewhouse (or something like this) after Chris got new shoes, and we found more parking, and had some AWESOME Stouts. I love sweet, dark beers, and this place has over 100 on tap - at least 50% local! WOWSA! I'm in heaven! Here's the beer list (and behind it is a icey spot that you can set your beer on to keep it continually cold!):


I'd like to go there again, right now! Beeeya it was awesome!!!! (Beeeya? Okay...whatever) - Anyway, yes, awesome beers, great food, I was quite pleased. We met up with Angela and Shelley (her wife, Angela is my friend from days of yore and I haven't seen her since probably '93) - it was GREAT to see her. We had a great time talking and having some beer, then went to a little joint called "Ground Kontrol" - (I think it's spelled with a "k") - which is an arcade of older games that take quarters, they serve beer and have a DJ in a corner. Highly amusing, very grungy, a lot of fun.

Closing out the night we came home and crashed. Now, I'm waiting for Kathryn and Lolly to show up, so we can take them out for a bit with us.

As a short note, we went to breakfast today at Bijou Cafe, one of my old faves, and I had a fantastic breakfast:


This is a breakfast of mostly all organic ingredients (or farm fresh) scrambled eggs, homemade sausage, green salad, whole wheat toast, buckwheat pancakes (Chris and I shared a stack of 3), and they had homemade ketchup, marmalade, rasberry and maple syrups and 3 kinds of Tabasco Sauce for us. As well, the coffee was organic and they have turbine sugar and cream on the table - simply amazing - I hope we go back again. Chris really liked the coffee!


She told me during the meal that she's really starting to like "healthier food" - such as organic things, soy milk, etc. - it's nice. A Wisconsin girl who was raised on meat and potato's (poor mans versions) is liking the good stuff, yay! She also said she fully understands why I'm so "hippyish" - if I'm hippyish what would she think of some of the folks in Tallahassee that live on a land co-op? LMAO Well, one of these days I'll take her up there. But, she's in love with Oregon, and Portland, and I know I'm going to hear about how we should move here for years to come.

After breakfast (and I should mention BEFORE breakfast we utilized the wonderful indoor hot tub and pool with a view of the trees and freeway, LOL) we drove around and I showed her places I grew up. We took pictures (these are all phone pics that you see now - our regular pics should be uploaded next week, I hope), and we went to see grandma. Grandma is doing well for her 90 years, and I'm pleased to say that she seems like she'll go another 10 years. I love my grandma!!!



Guess I'll close this for the evening. Tomorrow we're going to a spa for a night - http://www.bonnevilleresort.com - looks lovely. Massages and mineral bath/wraps (not in that order) plus a King sized room with a hot tub, should be lovely. THIS is our one night honeymoon, and I'm so thankful we can go and spend an evening of peace and quiet together...we sure need it.

See you in a few days, all!

Mother Nature said, "sorry, not today..."

Fog...FogFogFogFogFog...damned Fog! San Francisco is infamous for their fog, but I didn't even stop to think that during the summer months our plane could be delayed by 2+ hours due to said "fog". It was...we are NOT in San Francisco. We didn't go. We did, however, marry ourselves in a very quiet, very old, very beautiful (on hills) cemetary in NW Portland, and that was grand. We spoke from the heart, said what we needed to say, and exchanged rings. That was that. There was a jogger in the cemetary we saw twice, and she dissapeared after that...it was all to ourselves. It was amazing, breathtaking, romantic. I am wearing Chris's ring, and she is wearing mine. I'll post pics in the near future.

In short - we missed all our appointments due to the fog, and couldn't reschedule (or make a new appointment, actually) until August...screw it - it's a piece of paper, and unfortunately it means a lot to both of us but the physical act of accepting each other is what means the most. I want to be with her, she wants to be with me. There are pictures on the camera and I hope to have those up in the near future. We looked nice.

We started out at the Rose Garden, which lifted Chris's spirits...she said I was a "rock" during it all and didn't "crumble" like she did when she found out we wouldn't be joining my old friends in San Francisco - and all the other options we looked at fell far short or seemed just ridiculous - like the idea of just flying down and trying to get a license and hoping for a marriage ceremony cancellation...no, not into standby in a strange city, strange timeframe, strange manner. It just wasn't in the cards.

Chris, for a few minutes, thought her mother "prayed hard enough" to get God to listen to her - to get God to say "Chris should not be married" - because this is what her mother wanted. I think, honestly, that we are an example for others of what non-straight people have to go through just to get recognition as being "married" - if we had a piece of paper those straight folks out there, even if they didn't like it, would have to accept the fact that someone said it's legal. That sucks. Anyone who's straight can go out and get married whenever they want...something I can't do unless it's to a man. It's not right, but it's how it is. It's not right that anyone I know who is transgendered (but without surgery and a full sex change) can't marry whom they want even if they live as a straight person to the world, because what's in their pants doesn't match what society says is right. It's just stupid, really.

I should be allowed to marry whom I want of legal age - and if I lived in other countries I might be able to marry someone under the US's legal age - or get wed to someone from birth, or many different ideas. It's our culture that won't allow it - and our culture is ridden with religion.

I'm reading the People's History of the United States - and things don't change easy...they only change in some respects...from pushing, from mouthing off, from threatening, from anger and assult...I wish it didn't have to be that way, but until you stand up to the powers that control everything, nothing changes. We're seeing that today. Keep us all poor, underfed, overworked and you've got a system of slaves - we are all slaves to the rich right now - it's time we woke up, people.

...I think I want a drink. Chris wants new shoes - it's her weakness and she swears it will be the icing on the cake for our wedding day. So be it. ::smiles::

Going to the Chapel...

...Well, more like City Hall, honestly.

It's 5:59AM Pacific Time, and Chris is in the shower...she's been awake since about 4:30, totally giddy, unable to sleep. Me, I've been trying to sleep next to my "little woman" who's been jittery and grinning and making cute noises of happiness. I finally said, "let's get up" about 8 minutes ago. It's her Wedding Day, she's more than happy. I'm happy too, mind you, but I'm trying to keep it calm so that I can actually get myself on the plane and to San Francisco in a timely manner, and not mess up our plans due to nerves (which most commonly show up as what I like to call "Intestinal Difficulties").

Should be interesting.

Heck, I'm thrilled! I really am! But...I'm trying to stay calm and reserved...

****

I hope to have pictures of our escapades from yesterday sometime this week. The camera we took pictures on has a memory card, and the computer wants to format said memory card (which is NOT good)...so, I have to see if there's a USB hook-up on our camera or not...if not, it will have to wait until I get back to Flar-da.

Yesterday we went to "Deadberg", where I spent 3rd grade (after Christmas break) through Senior year. It was really entertaining. My friend Jennifer and my other friend Melissa met me at Burgerville and we had a blast driving around and looking at things...and, my "little sister" Kathryn, who has 2 kids that I've never met, I managed to find via remembering their phone number somewhat miraculously. I haven't seen "Kat" since probably 1999. I love that kid - and she's 31 now. Her mom and her mom's mom all live in the same house with Kathryn's two kids (Gage, 12 and ...I forget her daughters name, but she's 7). Very cute kids - Gage is very much a picture of her in boy form at that age...and she looked a lot like a little boy back then, too. They've got her ice blue eyes, they are lucky.

I found out that Kat is bi-polar and just got approved on disability. That explains a lot. She's always been a little unstable, but I never really could pin-point it - it's gotten worse over the years since I've left.

I met her best friend, "Lolly" who's like her "other sister" and found out that Kathryn always talks fondly of me...and has told "Lolly" on several occasions that "you're just like my big sister!" :-D That makes me grin from ear to ear. It seems Lolly has gotten her to hug her back - something it took me awhile to get Kathryn to do, too. I'm happy she's got her in her life. It also seems that Lolly and I have probably crossed paths in the past as she knew the "clan" that I used to know of Jacksons, and hung out with the older ones in the family (while I hung with the younger ones and graduated with one) and also knew some other folks that I knew.

We all go pretty far back in that small town. It just goes to prove that while you can leave home and you can't go back, your life is forever laid in the fabric of what has built it into today and the future.

Californication, Part 1

It's 1988, June (I believe). I've just graduated from High School, in a small town in Oregon about 20 miles outside of Portland. I don't quite know how I graduated, but I did. I think I had a 2.2 or something close to that my Senior year, and I was only taking 4 classes. It's safe to say I showed up for one daily (at least 5 minutes of it), but that, my friends, is another entry all together.

I went to the High School Graduation party, staying up all night, getting home around 6AM the next day. I then slept until later in the day and got ready to depart on my trip to Los Angeles. I remember my folks loaned me their Toyota truck (a tiny one that was black and orange, I think, with a white canopy - quite an amusing sight). I was going to move to Los Angeles to live my dreams out...to get into a music store and work for something in the way of music. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but it's all I could see myself doing: selling and working in the entertainment industry. I didn't have any other real "goals" as I was raised to not really have any. Jehovah's Witness kids were raised, in the '80's and before, to get married, have a family, and preach The Truth door to door, to Witness to everyone you meet. I wasn't expected to go to college (my father never did, my mother went for 3 years and then decided being a Sociologist in the late 60's was too difficult a field to obtain work in as "everyone was doing it"), my grandparents never went to college (the ones I knew well), so that was that...my dad's mantra to me on many a night at the dinner table was simple, "Get a good job and work hard in life, that's all you need to be successful, kid, don't fuck it up."

The trip to Los Angeles was to be an easy one, as I was taking Joel K. with me. Joel was Jerry's little brother (a year younger than me) and Jerry was Mike's best friend (Michael J., a friend of mine that I had worked with at FVM during High School - he was...I'd guess 8 years my Senior, and I graduated with his sister). Joel was going down to L.A. with me to see his brother Jerry and then drive back with my mom when she came down to pick up the truck and bring me my car, a 1972 blue Pinto with white vinyl seats. The truck was a loaner to get all my worldly possessions that I cared to take with me down to Los Angeles.

Mike was living in Lompoc near Jerry as he was at the Air Force Base, recently enlisted and assigned there. They were inseperable. Jerry was only a year older than me, and Mike followed him down there. Mike was going back to Los Angeles to live with me and one of my best friends (I had 2), named Cyndi E. She had a boyfriend named Brian. Brian was a complete dork...but, I didn't know this until I met him. Good grief he was an odd guy. He played the synthesizer, loved The Information Society (band) and was studying in Design School to be an interior designer and worked at a Sunglasses store selling sunglasses all day in downtown Los Angeles. I can't recall what Cyndi did for work now...

Anyway...Joel and I got ready to leave, I said goodbye to my family and I was off. WE were off, literally in some respects.

I vaguely remember driving but not much...at some point we made it down to the Whitaker area of California - we stopped at a rest area and about 5 minutes later I'm getting called out of the restroom by a frantic woman, "Is there a T- in here?" I called out yes and she replied with, "your friend out there burned himself really badly..." I race out of the restroom and find Joel burned and soaked - the "master mechanic" that he was (he and his brother rebuilt a couple of classic Mustangs) left him for a few minutes as he took off the radiator cap to check the coolant...without letting it cool. We drove to the nearest hospital.

Joel had 2nd and 3rd degree burns to his face, hands, arms and chest. They bandaged him up temporarily and then drove him to Chino via ambulance. About 8 hours later we were back on the road; Joel bandaged and on pain killers, me falling asleep at the wheel. Joel drove the rest of the way to Los Angeles after about an hour of me almost getting us into constant wrecks from veering off to the side of the freeway or almost into cars. It was quite insane, and I'm sure he was quite a spectacle to behold to the passing vehicles.

When we arrived in Lompoc Mike took me out for breakfast (it was 4AM, and I hadn't been asleep in over 24 hours except for a couple cat naps in the truck) at a Carl's Juniors. I'd never heard of them, and fell in love. We didn't have those in Oregon at the time.
We moved to Los Angeles later that day and I saw Cyndi for the first time in probably a year or more. She was gracious and ushered us into the tiny one bedroom apartment we'd be sharing with her and Brian. We were to sleep in the living room, which was as small as some people's fancy kitchens. Brian and Cyndi had the bedroom (which was as big as the living room) which also had the bathroom in it.

I was happy to be there...

A couple of days later my mom showed up with my car and took the truck home. I hadn't been to sleep except for a couple hours here and there in literally 3 days. She wanted to go to Disneyland, I opted to sleep. Mike took her, thankfully. Joel got a ride back to Los Angeles and went home with my mom. On the way home my mother fell asleep behind the wheel (while Joel was also sleeping) and ran the truck under a semi. She walked away with scrapes and bruises and Joel came out of it with a broken nose. He vowed never to travel with any member of our family ever again.

The view from our apartment building balcony...the first I lived in off Irolo St. with Cyndi, et al.

Oregon here we come! (with a side bar to California)

We leave Saturday morning for Oregon. Flying First Class the whole way there (on purpose, paid the full price, I refuse to sit in dinky seats for 6+ hours if I don't have to, being crammed up against sweaty people I don't know). We'll stay in downtown Tampa tonight, so we can get on the plane early - I have to check to see what time we can start checking in (not sure when the airport actually opens, as I know it's not 24/7).

Here's our schedule, thus far:

- Saturday, get in around noonish, pick up a car, call hotel and hope the room is ready. Go out to dinner with Teri/Adam at 8PM (which will be 11PM to us) to Shula's - we're taking them out to dinner as a Wedding Present to them...neither of them have ever been, and Teri tells me that "Adam really likes food". LOL Sounds perfect to me! I want time to get to know him, and I want Teri to have time to get to know Chris, and that just seemed like a good route to go. Steakhouse, a few drinks, full meals, ya. We can go out after if we're holding up. (*side note, Adam is 6'5" per Teri, and he's 300+ pounds...Teri is not a small girl either by any stretch of the imagination, so the two of them should be interesting to behold! With Chris and I it will be a large and grand evening, definitely, LOL)

- Sunday at 1PM we are meeting Jennifer G. and Melissa W. (as I know them) at Burgerville in Newberg. I worked at Burgerville a little over 20 years ago, LOL - Jennifer suggested it, saying I could get a cheeseburger with "extra extra extra extra extra pickles" (that's how I always ordered them, but back then I'd pepper the crap out of them, can't do that now...). I hope to take them on a tour of Newberg with me, showing Chris all my old haunts - places I used to work, go, things I did, etc. If they don't want to join us, no problemo...maybe I'll do some of that before we meet them up - not sure I want to share with a car of people where exactly I lost my virginity.

Sunday night is thus far open, thankfully...and I'm sure we'll be getting ready for our big day on...

- Monday we are flying down to San Francisco at 9:30ish in the morning, getting in around 11:30ish, Limo to City Hall, marriage license appointment at 12:30, and we're meeting up with Leanne (another old high school friend) and her wife, Moya, along with Jeff K. and Ron R. (two guys I didn't know well in high school, but who'll be there which is awesome). Leanne is a saint and is bringing flowers for Chris, boutinere for me, champagne (or somesuch) for toasting, cupcakes and their 3 year old daughter, Lucy. How fun! We get married at 1:30 and have to be back to the airport around 3:30, I think...

After we get back in we have to jet downtown to dinner at 6:45PM with Angela O. and her wife, Shelley, Chris B., Teri and Adam and us at a restaurant on the 30something floor of a bank tower - with promising views. I'm very excited!

- Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday I'm leaving completely open at this moment in time as I want time with my wife. I want time to have a smidgeon of a Honeymoon, if we can - and I want the option to do as much or as little as I want. I think I might make a trip to see both grandparents during these days (grandmother Dale and grandmother Willis - by marriage she is). I know I'll see them, it's just a matter of when. I might even go Saturday (tomorrow) to see grandma Dale. I also need to do LEGO promoting the whole time we're out there - we're going to leave pens with the waitstaff wherever we eat, leave them at hotels, lobby's and so on. LEGO is a big business out in Oregon, and we hope to meet some of our customers as well. Should be interesting!

- Friday, we are "free" until around 3PM and then we have to go to a wedding rehearsal barbeque at a park and then to Teri's bachelorette party in Portland at some God Bar (LOL).

- Saturday we are "free" until around 5PM and then I have to get ready for the wedding and be there at 6PM (wedding doesn't start until 8PM).

- Sunday at Noon we're going to Chris B.'s house for a "cook-out" and I don't know how long that will last, but I'm inviting all my friends over and she's inviting a few of hers as well - that she'd like us to meet. I'm hoping we can get some of the "old gang" together. I've known Roni, Angela, Chris, Pam, Tony and Paula for almost 20 years, it would be great to see them again...it's kind of like a college reunion, but we're all gay and were in a gay youth group together, LOL. I've also invited an old friend Erica, of whom I grew up with in Newberg. I haven't seen her in ages...and I need to locate my long lost "sister", Kathryn. She's got a couple of kids who should be in their late single digits, if not older...it's time I saw her...I must hunt her down. I think I'll try to do that on Sunday while I'm out there (the first Sunday). (*Tony has confirmed he'll be there)

Sunday evening, we leave back home at around 11PM at night. We get in Monday very, very early, but that's okay. I've actually got a full day out there Sunday, and most of a Saturday, so we're staying 7 full days plus two almost full days in Oregon, and I've booked the hotel through Monday so that I can leave as late as I want (I'll discuss a late check-out discount with them and see what they say when I get there).

I go back to my normal routine on Tuesday the 29th...bah humbug to that.

I've got a pile of folks to see in Oregon - it's rather insane. Here's a list:

Teri - BFF on the Oregon Coast, known since 1988, getting married, and will meet her fiance Adam for the first time.

Liz (hopefully), an ex, haven't seen or talked to her much since around 1991-1992, would love to see her...I have a book of her fathers to give back to her that I've had this whole time.

Pam (another ex, we dated briefly) - have kept in touch with her on and off over the past 17 years.

Paula, a friend, known 17 years, kept in touch here and there.

Alex (aka Gary), ex boyfriend, who also dated Teri, and Teri introduced us back in 1989/1990 - great guy, I've kept in touch with him over the years.

Chris B. (aka Dandi), one of the friends from 1991 I've kept in touch with almost religiously. We dated for 24 hours just to say we did (to make the circle more complete).

Interlude of circle explanation:

Chris dated Melissa K. and Pam. I dated Melissa and Pam. We thought that was funny.
Angela O., another friend I've known for 17 years...and I dated her as well. She, by the way, slept with Roni.

Roni, an ex and a friend I've known 17 years, who also dated Teri.

Jennifer G. - a friend I grew up with in Newberg, was a Witness, now is a "God Squader" and quite pleased with her beliefs (and I'm honestly happy for her). She's an interesting person, and lived with Teri for a year or so - I thought they were going to kill each other.

Melissa W. - a friend I was in Homeroom classes with in middle school, and we stayed friends through high school...I always thought she should have been gay...nope, married with 2 kids, but very down to earth and a bit rough around the edges. LOL

Janae - my BFF from school years and who I really want to see, but she hasn't contacted me as of late - not sure what's going on with her...she's got some complicated things going on in her life (and she's still a Jehovah's Witness).

Erica - a friend from my early school years - grade/middle - we've known each other forever and used to play together all the time. She had two younger brothers (well, has) and we'd watch them together. She called me "Tracetifer" and it drove me bonkers.

Tony - I'd like to see, known him 17 years but just recently got back in touch with him. He stays in touch on and off with Chris B. Erica also knew Tony from Job Corps, which is amusing as she told him that she had a huge crush on me in my school years (and I had no clue).

Kathryn - my little sister...she used to follow me around and tell people that when she grew up she'd be "just like Tracy" - well, she did date girls for awhile, but also dated boys and had two kids. You look at her and think "big dyke", LOL. She's a sweet kid...and for a "kid" she's probably older than Chris is...is that crazy or what? I think she's 7 or 8 years my junior. I hung out with her brother a lot growing up, and at her house. As I got older she started hanging out with me for weekends and such as she got into trouble and I did the best big sister thing I could with her.

So...14 people? Is that all? I hope so...I hope I haven't left anyone out...oh, wait, Monika said she'd like to see me, but I don't know that I'll get a chance to meet up with her - I think I'll invited her to Newberg on Sunday with us. She and I grew up from about 4th grade on, used to play with the boys after school, and went through all our school years together - we fell away as friends in middle school but still were friendly to each other and knew each other, we just didn't hang out - she went on to become the Homecoming Queen for our class. She's a pretty cool woman, and I've stayed in touch with her on and off through the years, too. So, ya, let's just make it 15! Eeeegads!

In other news - Chris's mom has basically disowned her - again...this time it seems rather final. The things she wrote to Chris were just plain mean, and no one I know can understand how someone who claims they're Christian would do that to their own daugther - well, no one but me...I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness - if I had been baptized in the religion and I "fell away" and got "disfellowshipped" it would be expected of my mother to cut all ties with me until I decided to repent and come back to the "fold" - but, I'd have to be accepted back in, and no one could talk to me (I'd be an outcast) in the congregation until the Elders saw fit to allow me back in. Ya, I'm glad I never got baptized in that religion...for many reasons.

This thing with her mom is really saddening...Chris was really upset last night and I'm upset for her, with her. I can't help it. I know what it's like to lose someone (and she never has, to death, lost a close family member - yet, she's been blessed) - but, now with her mother, knowing she's still alive and out there and just refuses to have anything to do with her - that's really hard.

My mother lost her mother like this when I was 4. She lost her to becoming a Jehovah's Witness and was told when we "stopped being such" we were welcome back. She didn't see her mother again until I was 18 and living in Los Angeles and she was on her death bed. She asked for my mom. She apologized to her. I hope that this isn't what happens with Chris...but, if it is I've been prepared for it in understanding what can happen to a person. My mother is bitter - still to this day...20 years later...and I will do my best to steer Chris in the right direction so that this doesn't take hold of her like it has my own mom. I know we "marry our parents" but I don't want to marry the bitter version of my mom I grew up with...no thanks.

The interesting thing I note is that her mother and my mother are very, very, very religious in their own right and how they view things (opposite ends, but believe almost the same thing, but think they're both, for the most part, the only "true" way to believe). They are also very bitter women. Life is too short to hold grudges, to hang onto what people did to you that was wrong. We are all human, we all make mistakes, if you talk to a Christian they'll tell you we were all born into sin and that we are supposedly living our life to make up for that, to become pure in the end. If that's the truth, why penalize someone for how they were born? It's not the Christian thing to do, IMHO.

I'm very ready to go...I wil probably post another memory later today...as the day wears down and my mind starts to smoulder.

And...I plan on posting pictures! :-P

Teri's Truck

I moved to Los Angeles in 1988, of which is a bit of a longer story, and we're not talking about all of that right now.

While in Los Angeles, a friend of mine that I was living with had a friend who had a friend (Mike had a friend named Ruth who had a friend named Teri) and Teri was staying in town for a Movie thing (for college - she wanted to be a Movie "something"). It ended up that some cheerleaders couldn't be out of the place she was staying so they bumped her and she needed a place to crash. We invited her in (without our roommates permission or happiness) to the living room that we lived in (in a one bedroom) with 2 other people, so there were now 5. It was only for a couple of nights. Teri is 3 years my Senior, and is an interesting gal. I'll have to write sometime about some of our other crazy experiences.

Teri and I used to go driving around Portland, and specifically through "gang areas" (yes, there WERE/ARE gangs in Portland...no one in Los Angeles believed it for some reason, but a couple of years later I'd find myself living on the edge of the Rollin' 60's territory). We'd be looking at all the boarded up crack houses and people trading drugs for cash on the streets, at the hookers and the old delapidated buildings, one of which still proclaimed it was a Disco (in the early 90's?). Burnside was a fabulous street for prostitution and the surrounding area was just as glum. We loved driving around in her truck:

Her truck was fabulous and fun! It was some special make of something...I don't even recall the make of it now, but we'd drive through Portland and Teri would throw on the light inside the cab exclaiming, "please don't shoot me! I'm a white girl! I'm not in the Bloods!" Oh, we had some fun doing that, and she sincerely acted like she was going to get shot for being in the wrong color car...I still don't quite know why we did this, but we did, and that is that.

Of course, we also did things like buying packs of Chesterfields and PalMals (unfiltered) and going out to Hillsboro and smelling the burning pot fields (compliments of the authorities) and watching the purple lights at the dinky airport. Simple times, simple things...times I miss, things I can't replace or recreate - but in memory, they will always live on.

Welcome!

Should you happen upon this blog, I welcome you. I've been posting entries on another website (journaling site) for almost 2 years and I decided it was time to branch out. Actually, someone from my past got me thinking (indirectly) that maybe I should go this route, and so I am. I'm going to post both new things and old memories, and I hope whomever happens upon them enjoys reading them.

Life is too short to forget what it was that we've accomplished - as that is the fabric that ties the wood together that keeps us afloat on the ocean. If you've poor materials you will sink that much quicker.

I'm getting married on July 21st to a lovely woman I met on-line...through the previously mentioned journaling site. We both came from previous relationships with women who are bi-polar. We understood each other for that, and started reading each others entries. I quickly learned that she came from a similar background as I did, but I admit hers was a lot harder than mine. She was poorer, and had a harder life in certain aspects, but knew who she was for a longer time, and I admired that about her greatly. She didn't have the life experience of me, but not a lot of people do. I'm proud of my experiences and look forward to another 40+, if the universe so allows.

I like to joke that I imported a "nice midwestern gal", but I sometimes wonder if she didn't escape? I think in a way she did, and in a way I found my perfect June to my Ward.

Life should continue to be interesting...I hope you enjoy the ride.

Tracy

My Grandparents Basement

My grandparents house (my fathers parents) had a basement. I grew up going to that house and I knew it well. The basement enthralled me. In the summer it would be cool and damp, but pleasant, and it smelled "old fashioned" to me.

When you walked into the back door (back porch to back door) of my grandparents house you could walk straight through about two steps into the basement door and go down the steps. This made it easy to run up the steps and outside in a jiffy if all the doors were open. During the summer it was one thing I was very good at doing, especially if my grandmother needed my grandfather for something, I was the messenger.

The stairs were painted gray, I believe, and I never realized until I visited after moving away from Oregon, years later, just how tiny those steps were. I'm amazed I never fell down them - as they were literally half the size of my feet (I'm a size 9 in mens, so my feet aren't small, but my grandfathers feet were HUGE).

When you descended the many tiny steps you'd see a pool table, not regulation size (I'd learn years later), and I was told it came with the house. I spent hours down there playing pool on that pool table. They had a "Minnesota Fats Plays Pool" paperback book and I'd sit and dream that one day I was going to be playing pool just like him. I remembered the Brady Bunch episode with Bobby being a pool player and knew I could be just like that; young and famous.

There was a small radio on a small table off to the left of which I'd put on the country station and sing along to Eddie Rabbit crooning how he loved a rainy night...or Ronnie Milsap singing about calling your name in the smokey mountain range. My grandmother would sometimes come down and play pool with me, which was wonderful. She was pretty good. My grandfather tried to teach me how to put "spin" on the ball and I can still do that to this day if I concentrate enough.

Behind the pool table on the wall there was a Spanish Mural painting of a man in a Gondola (looked Italian, but the people were Spanish) on a river with a woman in it in a white flowing dress...I loved that painting. Next to it was another painting of a view of a small city on a hill - I'm not sure who painted these pictures or what they were depicting, but they were beautiful. They were oil based paintings and during the summer would get oil blisters in them that I would pop when no one was looking. Years later I regretted making holes in these works of art...my grandmother caught me a couple times and told me, of course, to not do that...of which I said, "okay" to but did it again anyway. Typical kid actions.

My grandmother had a washing machine in the basement, but didn't get a dryer until I was probably in my late teens. She hung everything outside to dry in the sun...and if it was raining (this was Oregon so it wasn't uncommon) she'd hang it up in the basement. The basement had a freezer near the "wash basin" and washing machine, and on the other side there was a section they never turned lights on in for some reason. There were a couple of wardrobes in this area of which they stored winter coats and other random clothing they never wore, and a painting that hung on the wall. I would stare at that painting every time I went down to visit - I loved it...it haunted me, in a good way. The woman standing in the painting looking so calm...reflective...like she was just there to watch over things and that was that. She made me feel less alone as a child...and years later I would ask my grandmother to give me that painting should she ever decide to get rid of it. She gave it to my folks after I moved out of state and they finally brought it to me when they moved down here. Here it is, on their wall, but it's actually in my living room as I type:

























The story behind this picture is that my grandmothers mother bought it at a "sale" (could be yard, could be garage, could be flea market) one year...and passed it on to her. This picture reminds me of my grandparents, of the pool table, of the quiet times I had as a kid that I relished.

There was also an oil furnace in the basement and I found a couple of boxes of my dads old toys down there, of which I would play with on a regular basis. He had some great old tin wind up cars and army men, some airplanes and marbles. I loved his toys and I hope he never gets rid of them (he finally confiscated them from my grandparents). My grandfather had a wood workbench area that he would tinker with things on...and let me use his wooden handled drill and bit set to drill holes into things. I have his drill somewhere in my house - it was a fantastic toy for me as a kid.

They kept enough firewood to set the house ablaze underneath the steep staircase, and had a pantry full of jars of random things. My grandmother kept all the Christmas decorations in the pantry, along with a large collection of Ovaltine jars filled with Filberts (Hazelnuts) with dates written on masking tape on the jar. It was not uncommon to find jars filled with various foods that had dates going back to the late 60's when I was a child in the 70's. Years later, when I went to help my parents move my grandmother into an assisted living facility, several years after my grandfather had passed away, I went into the pantry to look for the ornaments (as my mother had no need for them being a J.W., and I really wanted them). Not only did I find the typical stash of random items, but my grandfather had also filled plastic and glass jugs full of water with dates and the supposed "run" that the water was from. I recall seeing dates as early as 7 years previous marked "Bull Run Water" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_Run_Watershed) - I wonder if he was preparing for some sort of holocaust. My grandparents came from the depression and it seemed they were always preparing for some impending disaster...this water just proved it years later.

The panty...it always smelled like fresh filberts, and to this day I can still smell that in my nose if I close my eyes and think back to that innocent time in my life. When nothing mattered to me but listening to Crystal Gayle and the sound of balls rushing inside the pool table to the end resevoir after dropping them into the top pockets. I loved that sound...I miss that simplicity.